Mistakes & Regrets

We make choices in life that someday we may look back on think that was really a mistake but I think that is ok. I think is better to make a choice then to let decision be made for you or to just let life happen. I have to learn to be ok with the choices and not to regret them later.

It is so strange to me that I have had a lot things happen in my life in the space of two years but my one regret has nothing to do with those two years. My one regret in life is the relationship I could not have with someone. I really think we could have been great friends but something hindered that and I can't really figure out what. When I am honest with myself I realize that I don't regret having a child at seventeen or getting at married at twenty-three nor do I regret the divorce that ended it. Did those things come with pain? Yes but I am thankful that I was able to endure and have them in my life they made me a better me. But this relationship that I could not have has hurt me to the core because I could not figure why we could not be friends but I guess God must know.

What I am Thankful for

I am thankful that I am still alive and breathing because things could be different.

I am thankful that Rachel is safe. She is young and still learning but at least she is okay today.

I am thankful that God is still providing for us despite my dumb mistakes.

I am thankful that eventually healing will come for my heart. I don't know when but if I keep believing I know it will come eventually.

I am thankful that JB and KB have survived each other. They fight so much but I hope in the end they will become closer to each other.

I am thankful that I am exploring something different in my life that maybe eventually will help me understand myself better.

I am thankful that God hasn't given up on me despite my confusion on so many things when it comes to spirituality and bible knowledge, I know God still loves me.

I am thankful that the holiday season will be over soon and maybe things can be normal again. Whatever that is.

I am thankful that I have coworkers around that listen to my questions no matter how weird or too serious they are and then really answer them. I am glad they feel okay talking to me even though I may not agree with them, I am thankful they are willing to share.

I am thankful that one day I will come out of this weird place I am in emotionally. God because this definitely can not last forever.

I am thankful that my brother will be coming home soon and I am prayfully that my other brother will be safe while he is still there.